Loyalty
Greetings all (i.e. no one):
I told many real people that I wouldn't continue my blog until I had internet in my apartment. Well, it finally happened: I'm stealing wireless from someone out there-- I just have to sit close to the door.
I also have something to talk about. Now, my trip to Europe initiated a whole branch of new thoughts for me regarding independence. A profound realization of what it really is. Now, let me not pass any judgments on it right here. You can determine the virtue in profound independence all your own. Let me describe how this affected me upon my return.
Picture this: I brought Joe and Brian (both biatches in the good sense) up to Montreal for the Jazz festival. One night we were in Brutopia (a pub, duh). And so, the three of us plus say, five others were around this one L-shaped table. Two of them felt rather uncomfortable at this table and so suggested we move, moved themselves, then I followed. Then Joe and Brian remained so I went to get them with a bona fide invitation: Hey guys do you want to come and sit over at that table.
Joe was, not unlike myself at earlier junctures, a little bit ticked off at all the moving and following people around and so forth (let's assume there had been other instances earlier that night). I started telling him about the independence (well, again) and he said that's not what friends do--to up and leave.
Now, let's go through it again. My schtick is that I'm always the one calling people; I'm always the one organizing stuff; I'm always the one having people over; and finally, I'm always the one buying people more drinks when they look out of it. Not to toot my own horn. There are many people out there who do this. I just find I'm the only one in my group of friends who does. Anyway, that said, I think that entitles me to push for what I consider the true brand of fun: the libertarian brand of fun: you go where you want when you want and talk to whoever you want. It's just as it always was with me, only now I feel I'm better at it!!
But according to him, Loyalty (avec un grand L) is not running off for the purposes of fun. I guess at this point I'll get his rendition wrong because I found it arbitrary to begin with, and was too drunk anyway. The idea is that there is a line during a soiree dividing loyalty and bad behavior. It's something like, we go in together, we leave together. You don't run off at any point. If you do, you preface it.
Hmm it sounds good on paper (monitor) but to me, say, the instants of fun are precisely those improvisations and conversation extensions to unknown murky people--the ones at the bar or at the next table or on the dance floor and honestly I've talked to my friends so many times that. No. They're still good. They always are: but variety is what makes me appreciate them. Variety gives me more to talk about, and allows for the unknown.
What we say to each other may be hilarious, but to achieve moments of coolness or precise definition by the other (re: existentialism) or surprise, we have to talk to strangers.
I told many real people that I wouldn't continue my blog until I had internet in my apartment. Well, it finally happened: I'm stealing wireless from someone out there-- I just have to sit close to the door.
I also have something to talk about. Now, my trip to Europe initiated a whole branch of new thoughts for me regarding independence. A profound realization of what it really is. Now, let me not pass any judgments on it right here. You can determine the virtue in profound independence all your own. Let me describe how this affected me upon my return.
Picture this: I brought Joe and Brian (both biatches in the good sense) up to Montreal for the Jazz festival. One night we were in Brutopia (a pub, duh). And so, the three of us plus say, five others were around this one L-shaped table. Two of them felt rather uncomfortable at this table and so suggested we move, moved themselves, then I followed. Then Joe and Brian remained so I went to get them with a bona fide invitation: Hey guys do you want to come and sit over at that table.
Joe was, not unlike myself at earlier junctures, a little bit ticked off at all the moving and following people around and so forth (let's assume there had been other instances earlier that night). I started telling him about the independence (well, again) and he said that's not what friends do--to up and leave.
Now, let's go through it again. My schtick is that I'm always the one calling people; I'm always the one organizing stuff; I'm always the one having people over; and finally, I'm always the one buying people more drinks when they look out of it. Not to toot my own horn. There are many people out there who do this. I just find I'm the only one in my group of friends who does. Anyway, that said, I think that entitles me to push for what I consider the true brand of fun: the libertarian brand of fun: you go where you want when you want and talk to whoever you want. It's just as it always was with me, only now I feel I'm better at it!!
But according to him, Loyalty (avec un grand L) is not running off for the purposes of fun. I guess at this point I'll get his rendition wrong because I found it arbitrary to begin with, and was too drunk anyway. The idea is that there is a line during a soiree dividing loyalty and bad behavior. It's something like, we go in together, we leave together. You don't run off at any point. If you do, you preface it.
Hmm it sounds good on paper (monitor) but to me, say, the instants of fun are precisely those improvisations and conversation extensions to unknown murky people--the ones at the bar or at the next table or on the dance floor and honestly I've talked to my friends so many times that. No. They're still good. They always are: but variety is what makes me appreciate them. Variety gives me more to talk about, and allows for the unknown.
What we say to each other may be hilarious, but to achieve moments of coolness or precise definition by the other (re: existentialism) or surprise, we have to talk to strangers.
posted by Owen Martin | 6:20 PM
2 Comments:
Wheres the love on planning/buying...I should at least get at (and Ian too)...bitch.
"My schtick is that I'm always the one calling people; I'm always the one organizing stuff; I'm always the one having people over; and finally, I'm always the one buying people more drinks when they look out of it. Not to toot my own horn. There are many people out there who do this. I just find I'm the only one in my group of friends who does. ..."
But in that case, my question is...how do you differentiate a true friend, from an opportunist?? See I feel like friendship often requires a lot of investvesments. Let it be simply time, or small sacrifices,... but when is it actually worth it? Freindship is actually what drives my life! I totaly take my inspiration from others: they provide me stories to tell, and ears to hear those stories. Alone I would probably die of sadness. But when should I take that same time do do something that might give me more in the short term, like spending quality time alone? How do you know that a friend is a true friend, and will not turn and backstab you later, destroying all the efforts you've put into him? I realize, it is a risk to take, and that I should only grow from bad experiences, like these, but I still feel I'm missing something... Do not get me wrong, I am not criticizing, you nor your friends, but just asking myself that question all the time... maybe you gave this some thought at some point...
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