The Philosophy
To discuss the philosophy would be a blatant and utter violation thereof.
This cute poetic sentence with oxymoronic undertones was fist put together by me and Joe back in the 6th grade. It wound up, of course, being much more true than most people guessed.
For one thing, although people laugh at me when I say that I'm writing my blog for no one, it is true: I'm writing this for NO ONE. No one will read this. Well, maybe someone (you) will stumble upon this someday, but it's not so much an up-to-date conversational exchange. Let me thus consider myself alone.
And now I'm free. I'm talking to myself. Everyone talks to himself. Oh wait, I can't know that. But I do and that's all that really matters. It's never really bothered me. I've never really thought I was crazy for it. Sometimes I feel like I'm practicing my accent or my acting skills, or my flirting skils, or yes, even my numchuck skills. My mouth isn't very far away from my brain. I've always maintained that as thoughts go, the only ones that go anywhere beyond instinct are ones you conceive of in language. So I'm thinking aloud.
Anyway-- all this is not my point. How about this for a source of freedom: take the initial sentence. What say you heard me say: My philosophy is not to talk to anybody about my philosophy. That's where the sentence comes from. But I've already broken it. But then, okay, let's just say that at any new point, I can reaffirm the philosophy. From now on I can tell no one. That's the point, in and of itself. Can I be alone? Can a philosophy be independent of all but one person: me?
I've thought about this question for years. And it seems with each passing year it becomes more and more relevent. I'm at a phase right now where I'm redoing my entire judgment system of the value of others. For some out there they're taking as given. Me, I'm more of a loner. I've always been lonely. So I need this philosophy. Here's what it boils down to: Am I the source of my own inspiration and curiosity and happiness, or is the fact that I'm always so lonely just mean that I'm a dismal person. See, I want the first. In a way, I can force the first to be true. But I need as an axiom the philosophy. The one in the title.
This cute poetic sentence with oxymoronic undertones was fist put together by me and Joe back in the 6th grade. It wound up, of course, being much more true than most people guessed.
For one thing, although people laugh at me when I say that I'm writing my blog for no one, it is true: I'm writing this for NO ONE. No one will read this. Well, maybe someone (you) will stumble upon this someday, but it's not so much an up-to-date conversational exchange. Let me thus consider myself alone.
And now I'm free. I'm talking to myself. Everyone talks to himself. Oh wait, I can't know that. But I do and that's all that really matters. It's never really bothered me. I've never really thought I was crazy for it. Sometimes I feel like I'm practicing my accent or my acting skills, or my flirting skils, or yes, even my numchuck skills. My mouth isn't very far away from my brain. I've always maintained that as thoughts go, the only ones that go anywhere beyond instinct are ones you conceive of in language. So I'm thinking aloud.
Anyway-- all this is not my point. How about this for a source of freedom: take the initial sentence. What say you heard me say: My philosophy is not to talk to anybody about my philosophy. That's where the sentence comes from. But I've already broken it. But then, okay, let's just say that at any new point, I can reaffirm the philosophy. From now on I can tell no one. That's the point, in and of itself. Can I be alone? Can a philosophy be independent of all but one person: me?
I've thought about this question for years. And it seems with each passing year it becomes more and more relevent. I'm at a phase right now where I'm redoing my entire judgment system of the value of others. For some out there they're taking as given. Me, I'm more of a loner. I've always been lonely. So I need this philosophy. Here's what it boils down to: Am I the source of my own inspiration and curiosity and happiness, or is the fact that I'm always so lonely just mean that I'm a dismal person. See, I want the first. In a way, I can force the first to be true. But I need as an axiom the philosophy. The one in the title.
posted by Owen Martin | 2:53 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home